I want a man that’s handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who’ll call, not wait for weeks.
I want him to be gainfully employed,
And when I spend his cash, he not be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.!
Oh! For a man that makes love to my mind, and knows what to answer to “how big is my behind?”
I want this man to love me to no end, and always be my very best friend.


I want a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a liquor store, a big boat and a golf course. I know this doesn’t rhyme and I don’t care.

The Welfare Office

A guy walked into the local welfare office, marched straight up to the counter and said, “Hi.
You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I’d really rather have a job.

The social worker behind the counter said, “Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.

Does this seem like something you might be interested in? Of course says the applicant.

We’ll let’s go over additional details and make sure your are interested:

You’ll have to drive around in his Mercedes. OK? Yes!

He’ll supply all of your clothes. OK? Yes!!

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.

Does this still sound good? Of Course!!!

You’ll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges.

Are you still interested? Absolutely!!!

You’ll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage and the salary is $200,000 a year.”

The guy, wide-eyed, said, “You’re bullshittin’ me!”

The social worker said, “Yeah, well . . . you started it.”