Entries from December 2006 ↓

A very loudmouthed, unattractive, mean-looking woman
walks into Wal-Mart, with her two unruly kids in tow,
screams obscenities at them all the way through the
entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter says, “Good morning, welcome to
Wal-Mart …. nice children you have there, are they twins?”

The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say,
“Hell no, they ain’t, the oldest one, he’s 9, and the
youngest one, she’s 7. Why the hell would you think
they’re twins? Are you blind or just plain stupid? Do you
really think they look alike?”

“No,” replies the greeter. “I just couldn’t believe you got
laid twice.”

Three guys are golfing with the club pro. First guy tees off and hits a
dribbler about 60 yards. He turns to the pro and says, “What did I do
wrong?” The pro says, “Loft.”

The next guy tees off and hits a duck hook into the woods.
He asks the pro, “What did I do wrong?” The pro says “Loft.”

The third guy tees off and hits a slice into a pond. He asks the pro,
“What did I do wrong?” The pro says “Loft.”

As they’re walking to their balls, the first guy finally speaks up. He
says to the pro, “The three of us hit completely different tee shots,
and
when we asked you what we did wrong you answered the same exact answer
each time. What is loft?”

The pro says, “Lack of f _ _ _ing talent.”