Great Superbowl Seat

A man had 50 yard line tickets at the Super Bowl. As he sits down, another
man comes down and asks if anyone is sitting in the seat next to him.

“No,” he says, “The seat is empty.”

“This is incredible!” said the man. “Who in their right mind would have a
seat like this for the Super Bowl and not use it?”

The first man says, “Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed
to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we
haven’t been to together since we got married in 1987.”

“Oh . . . I’m sorry to hear that. That’s terrible. But couldn’t you find
someone else – – a friend or relative, or even a neighbor to take the

The man shakes his head. “No, they’re all at the funeral.”

Todays Joke thanks Marilyn Zenere, the better half of the Number 1 fan of the Chicago Bears as seen in Sports Illustrated and USA Today – Greg Zenere Visit for more information.

Best Joke of 2007 So Far – Really Funny

Gorilla on the Roof – Plan ‘B’

As he was quietly watching television at home, the chap heard a
sound on the roof of his house and rushed out to investigate.
Seeing it was a fair-sized gorilla tearing the shingles off his
home, he promptly called up the local zoo authorities to inform
them one of their animals had escaped. He was reassured that a
gorilla recovering unit was on the way and to remain calm.

A few minutes later, an old beat up truck, displaying the
Gorilla recovery unit logo on its panels, pulled up to the
house. The elderly driver proceeds to recover from the back of
the truck, a chiwawa dog, a pair of handcuffs, a ladder, a
baseball bat, and a 12-gauge shotgun. Puzzled on how this lone
elderly was to solve the problem of this gorilla that had by now
torn half the roof apart, the chap asked him how he would go
about doing this. As he handed him over the 12-gauge shotgun,
the zoo employee explained the plan:

“First I’ll climb up there with the ladder. Then I’ll approach
the gorilla and knock him off the roof using the baseball bat.
As soon as the gorilla hits the ground, the specially trained
chiwawa will attack its private parts. When I get back on the
ground, the gorilla will have lowered its hands to its groin
area to protect itself thus making it easy for me to slip on the
handcuffs. Then, I lead him to the truck, lock him up and take
him back to the zoo…”

Amazed at the procedure, the somewhat startled house owner asked
why he was handed the 12-gauge shotgun?

“Well,” explained the experienced gorilla retriever, “It’s just
a precaution should things not go exactly as planned. In the
unlikely event that once on the roof the gorilla knocks me off
with the baseball bat – shoot the dog.”