Entries from January 2007 ↓

Window Washer Video – Click Here

Note: if you are offended by adult humor and jokes that are not , well let’s just say politically correct, then don’t read this joke. (Even though the following was not make up – it is still a joke)

Redneck Man’s pick up lines

1) Did you fart?
cuz you blew me away.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea .
I can’t hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card?
cuz I’d like to sign you out.

5 ) Is there a mirror in yer pants?
cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I’d store my
nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin girl here, but
beauty’s only a light switch away.

Man – “Fat Penguin!”
Woman – “WHAT?”
Man – “I just wanted to say something that would break
the ice.”

9) I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone,
but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can’t find my puppy, can you help me find him?
I think he went inta this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin, we kin sleep
til aftern oon.

and…. the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench,
every time I think of it my nuts tighten up

A guy is driving around Tennessee and he sees a sign in front of a house:

“Talking Dog For Sale.” He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.? The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there.

“You talk?” he asks.

“Yep,” the Lab replies.

“So, what’s your story?”

The Lab looks up and says, “Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young.? I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders,because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.? I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.”

“But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger so I decided to settle down.? I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in.”

“I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.

I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I’m just retired”

The guy is amazed.? He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.

“Ten dollars,” the guy says.

“Ten dollars?? This dog is amazing.? Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?”

“Because he’s a liar.? He never did any of that crap.”