Group Therapy

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young
mothers and their small children…
“You all have obsessions,” he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve
even named your daughter Candy.”

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: “Your obsession is with money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.”

He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: “Your obsession is alcohol. This too
manifests itself in your child’s name, Brandy.”

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by
the hand and whispers. “Come on, Dick, we’re leaving.”

Little Johnny Strikes Again

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good
manners, asked her students the following question:

“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young
lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

Michael said, “Just a minute I have to go pee.”

The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite.
What about you, Peter, how would you say it?”

Peter said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I’ll be right back.”

“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word
bathroom at the dinner table.”

“And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show Us
your good manners?”

I would say: “Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have
to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you’ll get
to meet after dinner.”

The teacher fainted.