Todays Joke: And Then The Fight Started

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She

asked, ‘What’s on TV?’

I said, ‘Dust.’

And then the fight started> …>

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She

said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds..’

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started> …>

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When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace

expensive… so, I took her to a gas station…

And then the fight started….

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After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social

Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to

verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.

I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come

back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing

my curly silver hair..

She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and

she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social

Security office.

She said, ‘you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten

disability, too.’

And then the fight started…

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My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept

staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a

nearby table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend. I understand she

took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she

hasn’t been sober since.’

‘My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on

celebrating that long?’

And then the fight started…

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I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and

slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get

soooo stressed and little things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it… he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, ‘I AM NOT

HAPPY!’

So, I looked down at him and said, ‘Well, then which one are you?’

And then the fight started…

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