A Day At The Beach

A widowed lady, Sarah, was sitting on a beach towel in Miami=Beach, Florida.

She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, spread his blanket on the sand nearby, and had begun reading a book.

Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him.

“Hello, sir, how are you?”

“Fine, thank you” he responded, and turned back to his book.

“I love the beach. Do you come here often?” Sarah asked.

“First time since my wife passed away last year” he replied, and again turned back to his book.

“Do you live around here?” she asked.

“Yes, I live over in Suntree” he answered, and resumed reading.

Trying to find a topic of common interest, Sarah persisted. “Do you like pussycats?”

With that, the man threw his book down,jumped off his blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!

As the cloud of sand began to settle, Sarah gasped and asked the man “How did you know that was what I wanted?”
The man replied “How did you know my name is Katz?”

Raise for The Rabbi

One Saturday before his sermon, the Rabbi explains that he must move on to a larger congregation that will pay him more. There is a hush within the congreation. No one wants him to leave.

Sol Epstein, who owns several car dealerships in the City stands up and proclaims, “If the Rabbi stays, I will provide=him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a Honda mini-van to transpor= their children!” The congregation sighs in appreciation, and applauds.
Sam Goldstein, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, “If  the Rabbi will stay here, I’ll personally double his salary, and also establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!!”=More sighs and loud applause.

Sadie Goldfarb, age 88, stands and announce= with a smile, “If the Rabbi stays, I vill give him sex!!” There is total silence.

The Rabbi, blushing, asks her, “Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possesed you to say that?”

Sadie’s 90 year old husband Jacob is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side while his wife replies,

“Well, I just asked mein husband=how we could help, and he said, “Fuck the Rabbi