Entries from July 2009 ↓

If you hear a “loud rumble” in the Southern sky, don’t worry.

It’s not thunder.

It’s Elvis beatin’ the shit out of Michael Jackson for marrying his daughter.

John was on his deathbed and gasped pitifully.

‘Give me one last request, dear,’ he said.

‘Of course, John,’ his wife said softly.

‘Six months after I die,’ he said, ‘I want you to marry Bob.’

‘But I thought you hated Bob,’ she said.

With his last breath John said, ‘I do!’

Jacob, age 92 and Rebecca, age 89 live in Florida and are
all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a
stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way, they pass a Drugstore.

Jacob suggests they go in.

Jacob addresses the man behind the
counter:

“Are you the owner?”

The pharmacist answers, “Yes.”

Jacob: “We’re about to get married.
Do you sell heart medication?”
Pharmacist: “Of course we do.”

Jacob: “How about medicine for circulation?”
Pharmacist: “All kinds.”

Jacob: “Medicine for rheumatism?”
Pharmacist: “Definitely.”

Jacob: “How about suppositories?”
Pharmacist: “You bet!”

Jacob: “Medicine for memory problems, arthritis and Alzheimer’s?”
Pharmacist: “Yes, a large variety. The works.”

Jacob: “What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson’s disease?”
Pharmacist: “Absolutely.”

Jacob: “Everything for heartburn and indigestion?”
Pharmacist: “We sure do.”

Jacob: “You sell wheelchairs and walkers and canes?”
Pharmacist: “All speeds and Sizes.”

Jacob: “Adult diapers?”
Pharmacist: “Sure.”

Jacob: “We’d like to use this store as our Bridal Registry.”