Todays Joke: Steven Wright, Rodney Dangerfield, Larry Reeb

I was Caesarian born…can’t tell…except every time I leave a room, I go out through the window. Steven Wright

Some friends of mine got me a sweater for my birthday. I’d have preferred a moaner or a screamer, but the sweater was OK.   Steven Wright

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. Rodney Dangerfield

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you’re ugly too.  Rodney Dangerfield

We have two cats. They’re my wife’s cats, Mischa and Alex. You can tell a woman names a cat like this. Women always have sensitive names: Muffy, Fluffy, Buffy. Guys name cats things like Tuna Breath, Fur Face, Meow Head. They’re nice cats. They’ve been neutered and they’ve been declawed. So they’re like pillows that eat. Larry Reeb

They try to humiliate you in the hospital. They make you pee in a bottle. I hate that. I was in the hospital. The nurse

said, “You have to pee in a bottle.” When she left I poured Mountain Dew in there. She came back and I chugged it. She was puking for days. It’s a sick world and I’m a happy guy! Larry Reeb

Courtesy of

Steve Pohlit, Expert Business Consulting

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