Todays Joke: Deaf Sex

Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can’t see each other signing, or read lips. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution.

She writes a note to her husband: ‘Honey, Why don’t we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time.. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times.

The husband thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his wife; that if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis one time. If she doesn’t want to have sex, pull on his penis two hundred and fifty times.

Todays Joke: A Modern Fairy Tell

Once upon a time, a guy asked a beautiful girl “Will you marry me?”

The girl said, “NO!”

And the guy lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and played golf a lot and drank beer and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.

The end.

Todays Joke: Mrs Green and Her Doctor

The eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said,

“You are in fine shape for your age, Mrs. Green, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?”

“Just a minute, I’ll have to ask my husband, she said.”

She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud:

“John, do we still have intercourse?”

There was a complete hush–you could have heard a pin drop.

John answered impatiently, “If I told you once, Irma, I’ve told
you a hundred times…What we have is:

Blue Cross!”