A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into
the taxi, and the cabbie says, ‘Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.
Passenger: ‘ Frank Who?’
Cabbie: ‘Frank Feldman.. He’s a guy who did everything right all the time
Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to
Frank Feldman every single time.’
Passenger: ‘There are always a few clouds over everybody.’
Cabbie: ‘Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won
the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera
baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play
the piano. He was an amazing guy.’
Passenger: Sounds like he was something really special.
Cabbie: ‘There’s more. He had a memory like a computer. He remembered
everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which
fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and
the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, could do everything right.
Passenger: ‘Wow, some guy then.’
Cabbie: ‘He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic
jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never
made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel
good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his
clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too – He was the
perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to
Frank Feldman.’
Passenger: ‘An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?’
Cabbie: ‘Well, I never actually met Frank, he died and I married his fuckin wife.