Todays Joke: No Joke: New Wine

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New Wine for Seniors

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California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic. It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as:

PINO MORE
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I  HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE

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Todays Joke: Had To Do It

I  was in a restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to  pass gas.

The music was really, really loud, so I  timed my gas to the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I  started to feel better.

I finished my coffee and noticed that everybody  was staring at me.

It was then I suddenly remembered that I was  listening to my iPod.





Where To Park The Car In A Snow Storm

One winter morning a husband and wife in Northern Wisconsin were listening tothe radio during breakfast. They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.”

So the good wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snowplows can get through.”

The good wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week they are again having breakfast, when the radio announcer says, “We areexpecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park….” Then the electric power went out.

The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplows can get through?”

With the love and understanding in his voice that all men who are married to blondes exhibit, the husband replied, “Why don’t you just leave it in the garage this time.”