INTERNET WARNING:
If you get an email titled “Nude photo of Nancy Pelosi,” don’t open it.
It contains a nude photo of Nancy Pelosi.
Entries from February 2010 ↓
Todays Joke: Internet Warning ..USA Mostly
February 23rd, 2010 — Funny, Joke, Jokes for Men, Jokes for Women
Todays Joke: Redneck Hooker
February 17th, 2010 — Adult Jokes, Funny, Joke, Joke Library, Jokes for Men, Jokes for Women
A REDNECK was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the shadows.
‘Twenty dollars’ she whispers. Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it’s only twenty bucks so they hide in the bushes.
They’re ‘engaged’ for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. It is a police officer.
‘What’s going on here, people?’ Asks the officer.
‘I’m making love to my wife!’ Bubba answers sounding annoyed.
‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ says the cop, ‘I didn’t know’
‘Well, neither did I, till ya shined that damn light in her face!’
Todays Joke: Bran Muffins
February 15th, 2010 — Adult Jokes, Funny, Joke, Joke Library, Jokes for Men, Jokes for Women, Senior Jokes
| Bran Muffins
|
| A couple were both 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to live a good life because they watched their pennies.
Though not young as they would like, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife’s insistence on healthy foods and exercise during the last several decades. One day, their good health could not save them, when they went on a rare vacation and they were both killed in a terrible auto accident, sending them off to Heaven.
They gasped in astonishment when St. Peter said, “Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now. The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. “Why, nothing,” Peter replied, “Remember, this is your reward in Heaven.” The old man looked out the window and there he saw a beautiful championship golf course, better then anything he had seen on Earth.
“This is heaven,” St. Peter replied, “You can play for free, every day.” Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, and free flowing beverages. “Don’t even ask,” said St. Peter to the man, “This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.” The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife. “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?,” he asked. “That’s the best part,” St. Peter replied, “You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!”
“No testing my sugar or blood pressure or..” “Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.” The old man glared at his wife and said, “You and your fuckin’ bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!” |
KINDA BRINGS A TEAR TO YOUR EYE DOESN’T IT?