1How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
Why do women fake orgasms ?
Because they think men care.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have
you done wrong?
Made her chain too long
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will probably never
be able to support you.
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It’s one of those ‘evolutionary things’ that allows them to stand closer to
the kitchen sin k.
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can’t shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first ?
The dog, of course. He’ll shut up once you let him in.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman’s sex drive
It’s called a Wedding Cake.
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.