Todays Joke: Socially Unacceptable Humor …Adult

Socially Unacceptable Humor ( If you think these are bad …don’t ask me to publish the ones I deleted)

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on.  I said “You’re pulling my leg.”

Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt!  Do you think I should change dentists

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature.  She said she would like to come back as a cow.

I said, “You’re obviously not listening”.

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst.  So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.

At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!

One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that “Mexicans” is not the correct answer either.

A buddy of mine just told me he’s getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said “How can you tell them apart?”  He said “Her brother’s got a mustache.”

Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.” To which she replied, “No, it’s regular-people porn, you sick bastard.