Socially Unacceptable Humor ( If you think these are bad …don’t ask me to publish the ones I deleted)
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling my leg.”
Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, “You’re obviously not listening”.
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!
One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that “Mexicans” is not the correct answer either.
A buddy of mine just told me he’s getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said “How can you tell them apart?” He said “Her brother’s got a mustache.”
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.” To which she replied, “No, it’s regular-people porn, you sick bastard.