Todays Joke From The Site With The Funniest Jokes Ever – Today Shopping for a Rug

persian rugsA woman walks into a shop that sells very expensive Persian rugs.She looks around and spots the perfect rug and walks over to inspect it. As she bends to feel the texture of the rug she farts loudly.

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and hopes a sales person does not pop up at that moment. As she turns back, standing next to her is a salesman.

“Good day, how may we help you today? ” Very uncomfortably, she asks, “Sir, how much does this rug cost?

“He answers, “Lady if you farted just touching it, you’re gonna shit in your pants when you hear what the price is.”

God and Harley Davidson Engineering

The inventor of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, “Since you’ve been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, “I want to hang out with God.” St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

Arthur then asked God, “Hey, aren’t you the inventor of woman?” God said, “Ah, yes.”

“Well,” said Arthur, “professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention:

God smiled and asked “what might they be?”

Arthur replied:

1. There’s too much inconsistency in the front-end protrusion.
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds.
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too much.
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust.
5. And the maintenance costs are outrageous.”
“Hmmmm, you may have some good points there,” replied God,

“Hold on.” God went to his Celestial super computer typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

“Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,” God said to Arthur, “but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours.”

No Joke – I am from Pa

Here is what Jeff Foxworthy jeff foxworthy has to say about Pennsylvanians.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If someone in a Home Depot store offers you assistance and they don’t even work there, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you’ve worn shorts and a jacket at the same time, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you’ve had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If “vacation” means going anywhere south of Harrisburg for the weekend, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you have switched from ‘heat’ to ‘A/C’ in the same day and back again, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you can drive 75 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both doors unlocked, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you carry jumpers in your car and your wife knows how to use them, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you design your kid’s Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph -you’re going 80 and everybody is passing you, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you have more miles on your snow blower than your car, you may live in Pennsylvania.

If you find 10 degrees “a little chilly”, you may live in Pennsylvania. If you actually understand these jokes, repost this so all of your Pennsylvania friends and others can see, you definitely do live – or have lived – in Pennsylvania.