The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. Her name’s Kathy and she’s 25.
Went to our local bar with my wife last night. Locals started shouting “pedophile!” and other names at me, just because my wife is 24 and I’m 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary!!
Buddy asked me how I got the black eye? Told him the wife told me maybe we should try some of those little pills to help keep my li’l buddy alive longer. Guess giving her a pack of weight loss pills was not what she had in mind!
A man calls 911 and says “I think my wife is dead”. The operator says, “How do you know?” The man says “The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!”
My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.