THE AUSTRALIAN VIRGIN

Australian MarriageA very nice, innocent woman wants to get married, but she is only willing to marry a man if he has never been with another woman.

After several unsuccessful years of searching, she decides to take out a personal ad.

She ends up corresponding with a man who has lived his entire life in the Australian Outback and he has no experience with women.

She is very happy with him, and she feels that they are perfect for each other.

So, they end up getting married.

On their wedding night, she goes into the bathroom to prepare for the evening.

When she returns to the bedroom, she finds her new husband standing in the middle of the room, naked.

All the furniture from the room is piled in one corner.

“What happened?” she asks.

“I’ve never been with a woman” he says, “But if it’s anything like a kangaroo, I’m gonna need all the room I can get!”

No Joke – New Paint

blonde paintingThis blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these  blonde jokers and how all blondes are perceived as stupid.

So, she decides to show her  husband   that blondes really are
smart.

While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work,   she gets down to the task at hand.

Her husband  comes home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of  paint. He walks into the  living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.

He notices that she is wearing a heavy parka and a leather jacket at the same  time. He goes over and asks her if she if OK. She replies yes.

He asks what she is doing and she replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb,  and she wanted to do it by painting the house..

He then asks her why she has a parka over her leather jacket , she replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and it said…

(You’ll love this…)  (I know you will…)

“FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.”