A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.
He hears a priest come in:”Father, forgive me for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be”.
The priest replies,
“Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side”.
A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Barack Obama fans.
Not really knowing what a Barack Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for Little Johnny…
The teacher asked Little Johnny why he has decided to be different… again.
Little Johnny said, “Because I’m not a Barack Obama fan.”
The teacher asked, “Why aren’t you a fan of Barack Obama ?”
Johnny said, “Because I’m a Republican.”
The teacher asked him why he’s a Republican.
Little Johnny answered, “Well, my Mom’s a Republican and my Dad’s a Republican, so I’m a Republican.”
Annoyed by this answer, the teacher asked, “If your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?”
Little Johnny replied, “That would make me a Barack Obama fan.
SENIORS and COMPUTERS
As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.
Yesterday, I had a problem, so I called Georgie ,the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control, and asked him to come over.
Georgie clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, I called after him, “So, what was wrong?”
“It was an ID ten T error.”
I didn’t want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, “An, ID ten T error? What’s that? In case I need to fix it again.”
Georgie grinned … “Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?”
“No,” I replied.
‘Write it down,’ he said, ‘and I think you’ll figure it
So I wrote down: ID10T
I used to like George , the little poop head.