Senior Italian Golfers

Silvio, an 80-year-old Italian
goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the
guy is in and asks, ‘how do you stay in such great physical condition?’


I’m Italian and I am a golfer,’ says Silvio, ‘and that’s why I’m
in such good shape. I’m up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the
fairways.

I have a glass of vino, and all is well.’
“‘Well’ says the doctor, ‘I’m sure that helps, but there’s
got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?
“Who said he was dead?”
The doctor is amazed. ‘You mean you’re 80 years old and your
Father’s still alive. How old is he?’

‘He’s 100 years old,’ says Silvio. ‘In fact he golfed with me
this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little
vino and that’s why he’s still alive. He’s Italian and he’s a golfer, too.’

‘Well,’ the doctor says, ‘that’s great, but I’m sure there’s
more to it than that. How about your Father’s Father? How old was he when he
died?’

‘Who said my Nonno’s dead?’

Stunned, the doctor asks, ‘you mean you’re 80 years old andyour
grandfather’s still living! Incredible, how old is he?’

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‘He’s 118 years old,’ says the Old Italian golfer.

The doctor is getting frustrated at this point,
‘So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning, too?’

‘No, Nonno couldn’t go this morning because he’s getting married
today.’

At this point the doctor is close to losing it. ‘Getting
married? Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?’

‘Who said he wanted to?

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Classic – Did I Read That Sign Right ?

  Did I read that sign right     Click Me!          
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
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In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT

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In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
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In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
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In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
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Outside a second hand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING – BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN
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Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
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Spotted in a safari park:(I sure hope so)
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
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Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN’T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR
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Notice in a farmer’s field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
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Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
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On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD – THE BELL DOESN’T WORK)
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Proofreading is a dying art, wouldn’t you say?
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Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

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Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

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Miners Refuse to Work after Death

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Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant

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War Dims Hope for Peace

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If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile

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Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

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Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

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Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

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Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge

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New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
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Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

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Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

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Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
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Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

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And the winner is….

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

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Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to .
We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!