Elderly Golfer – ALERT This An Adult Themed Joke

Elderly Golfer

An elderly golfer comes in after a good round of golf at the new course and heads straight to the 19th hole.
 As he passes through the swinging doors, he sees a sign over the bar that reads:
COLD BEER: $3.00
HAMBURGER: $5.00
CHEESEBURGER: $6.00
CHICKEN SANDWICH: $6.50
HAND-JOB: $25.00
 
Checking his wallet to be sure he has the necessary cash, the old golfer walks up to the bar and beckons the attractive bartender who is serving drinks to a couple of sun-wrinkled golfers.  
She glides down the bar to the old golfer.
“Yes?” she inquires with a wide, knowing smile. “May I help you sir?”
The old golfer leans over the bar and whispers,
“Are you the one who gives the hand-jobs around here?
She looks into his wrinkled eyes, and with a wide smile purrs, “Yes sir, I certainly am.”
The old golfer leans in even closer and into her left ear says softly,
“Well then, be sure to wash your hands really well, because I want the cheeseburger.”

Little Johnny 2+2+2

Teacher: “If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “No, listen carefully… If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven.”
Teacher: “Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Six.”
Teacher: “Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?”
Johnny: “Seven!”
Teacher: “Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!”
Johnny: “Because I’ve already got a freaking cat!