Entries Tagged 'Blondes' ↓

A man got on a bus with both of his front pants pockets full of golf balls on his way to the driving range.

A blonde already sitting on the bus saw the man enter and kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pants.

After many such glances from her, the man finally looked at the blonde lady and said, “It’s golf balls.”

The blonde continued to look at him thoughtfully and finally asked… “Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?”

The other day my neighbor, who is blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I didn’t know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, ‘what the heck,’ and I starting jumping up and down along with her.

She said, ‘I have some really great news!’

I said, ‘Great. Tell me why you’re so happy.’

She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant! I knew she’d been trying for a while so I told her, ‘That’s great! I couldn’t be happier for you!’

Then she said, ‘There’s more!’

I asked, ‘What do you mean there’s more?’

She said, ‘Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!’ Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew.

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She said….. ‘Well, that was the easy part. I went to Sam’s Club and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack.
Both tests came out positive!

I needed a few days off work, but I knew the Boss would not allow me
to take a leave.

I thought that maybe if I acted “CRAZY” then he would tell me to take a few days off.

So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made Funny noises.
My co-worker (who’s blonde) asked me, what I was doing.

I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss would think I was “CRAZY” and give me a few days off.

A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked “What are you doing?” I told him I was a light bulb.

He said “You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days”.

I jumped down and walked out of the office.

When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her”…And where do you think you’re going?”

(You’re gonna love this….keep going)

She said, “I’m going home too. I can’t work in the DARK!