Entries Tagged 'Jokes for Men' ↓

Little Johnny understands the program and will do well as a capitalist.

HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”

“Very good,” said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

“I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”

“Very good, Jenny,” said the teacher..

Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn.

The teacher held her breath …

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467,” he said.

“$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”

“Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny.

“Toothbrushes!” echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”

“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.”

They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog shit!”

Then I would say,”It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?”

“I used the governmental approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making you pay to get the shitty taste out of your mouth.”

CATHOLIC SHAMPOO……….

While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer
cooler. One nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two
taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”

The second nun answered “Indeed it would Sister, but I wouldn’t feel
comfortable buying beer as I am certain that it would cause a scene at
the check-out counter.”

“I can handle that without a problem” she replied as she picked up a
six-pack and headed for the check-out.

The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived
with a six-pack of beer.

“We use beer for washing our hair” the nun said, “A shampoo, of sorts, if
you will.” Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled
out a package of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beer.

He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled and said, “The curlers
are on the house.”

HAVING MOM OVER
FOR DINNER

Brian
invited his mother over for dinner. During the
course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help
but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate,
Jennifer was. Brian’s Mom had long been
suspicious of the platonic relationship between
Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her
more curious.

Over the course of the
evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between
Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brian
volunteered, ‘I know what you must be thinking,
but I assure you Jennifer and I are just
roommates.’

About a week later, Jennifer
came to Brian saying, ‘Ever since your mother came
to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful
silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it,
do you?’

Brian said, ‘Well, I doubt
it, but I’ll send her an e-mail just to be sure.
So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mom,

I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the
gravy ladle from the house, I’m not saying that
you ‘did not’ take the gravy ladle. But the fact
remains that one has been missing ever since you
were here for dinner.

Love,
Brian

Several
days later, Brian received an email back from
his mother that read:

Dear Son,

I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with
Jennifer, I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep
with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if
Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would
have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love,
Mom