Entries Tagged 'Jokes for Women' ↓

I woke up this morning, got dressed and went in the kitchen where my wife was already fixing breakfast.

I looked to see what she was cooking, and I see one of my socks in the frying pan.

“What are you doing?” I asked her.

She said “I’m doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed very drunk,” she replied.

Completely puzzled, I walked away thinking to myself,

“I really don’t remember asking her to cook my sock…”

As  I  walked  down a busy street, knowing I was  late for Mass, my  eye fell upon one  of those  unfortunate, homeless vagabonds (you  know, tattered  clothing, long hair etc)  that  are  found in every town these days.

Some   people  turned to stare. Others quickly looked  away as if the sight  would  somehow contaminate  them..

Recalling  my  old  parish priest, Father Mike, who always admonished  me  to  ‘care for the sick, feed the hungry and  clothe the naked,’ I  was moved  by some powerful  inner urge to reach out to this  unfortunate   person.

Wearing   what  can only be described as rags, carrying  every worldly  possession in  two plastic bags, my  heart was touched by this  person’s   condition.

Yes,   where  some people saw only rags, I saw a true, hidden    beauty.

A   small  voice inside my head called out, ‘Reach out,  reach out  and  touch this  person!’

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I won’t be  at  Mass this  week….

A little Muslim kid, crying, can’t find his mother in the supermarket.

The store attendant says ‘What does your mother look like?’

The kid says “I have no fucking idea.”