Entries Tagged 'Joke Library' ↓

I went to the doctor’s office this morning and found out that my new doctor
is a young female and drop-dead gorgeous…

I was embarrassed, but she said, “Don’t worry, I’m a professional – I’ve
seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I’ll “check it out.”

I said “My girl friend thinks my dick tastes funny.”

My wife says to me the other night

“How come we don’t make love like they do in the movies?”

So I bent her over the table, slapped her on each ass cheek a dozen times, grabbed her by the hair and yanked her neck back so she’d be forced to watch me jackhammer her from behind, then flipped her over and came on her face….

Turns out we don’t watch the same movies.

The Love Dress

A woman stopped by, unannounced, at her son’s house. She knocked on
the door then immediately walked in. She was shocked to see her
daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was
playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

“What are you doing?!” she asked.

“I’m waiting for Mike to come home from work,” the daughter-in- law
answered.

“But you’re naked!” the mother-in-law exclaimed.

“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law explained.

“Love dress? But you’re naked!”
“Mike loves me and wants me to wear this dress,” she explained.” It
excites him to no end. Every time he sees me in this dress, he
instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He
can’t get enough of me”

The mother-in-law left.

When she got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best perfume,
dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and lay on the couch,
waiting for her husband to arrive. Finally, her husband came
home. He walked in and saw her lying there so provocatively.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“This is my love dress,” she whispered sensually.

“Needs ironing,” he said. “What’s for dinner?

He never heard the gunshot.