Entries Tagged 'Joke Library' ↓
October 12th, 2011 — Adult Jokes, Joke, Joke Library, Jokes for Men, Jokes for Women, Senior Jokes
Socially Unacceptable Humor ( If you think these are bad …don’t ask me to publish the ones I deleted)
I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she had ever laid her hands on. I said “You’re pulling my leg.”
Went for my routine checkup today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my butt! Do you think I should change dentists
I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow.
I said, “You’re obviously not listening”.
The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the worst. So, I have been to the thrift shop to get all of her clothes back.
At the Senior Citizens Center they had a contest the other day. I lost by one point: The question was: Where do women mostly have curly hair? Apparently the correct answer was Africa!!!
One of the other questions that I missed was to name one thing commonly found in cells. It appears that “Mexicans” is not the correct answer either.
A buddy of mine just told me he’s getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I said “How can you tell them apart?” He said “Her brother’s got a mustache.”
Being a modest man, when I checked into my hotel on a recent trip, I said to the lady at the registration desk, “I hope the porn channel in my room is disabled.” To which she replied, “No, it’s regular-people porn, you sick bastard.
October 10th, 2011 — Adult Jokes, Funny, Joke, Joke Library, Jokes for Men, Jokes for Women
I woke up this morning, got dressed and went in the kitchen where my wife was already fixing breakfast.
I looked to see what she was cooking, and I see one of my socks in the frying pan.
“What are you doing?” I asked her.
She said “I’m doing what you asked me to do last night when you came to bed very drunk,” she replied.
Completely puzzled, I walked away thinking to myself,
“I really don’t remember asking her to cook my sock…”
October 10th, 2011 — Joke, Joke Library, Jokes for Men, Jokes for Women
As I walked down a busy street, knowing I was late for Mass, my eye fell upon one of those unfortunate, homeless vagabonds (you know, tattered clothing, long hair etc) that are found in every town these days.
Some people turned to stare. Others quickly looked away as if the sight would somehow contaminate them..
Recalling my old parish priest, Father Mike, who always admonished me to ‘care for the sick, feed the hungry and clothe the naked,’ I was moved by some powerful inner urge to reach out to this unfortunate person.
Wearing what can only be described as rags, carrying every worldly possession in two plastic bags, my heart was touched by this person’s condition.
Yes, where some people saw only rags, I saw a true, hidden beauty.
A small voice inside my head called out, ‘Reach out, reach out and touch this person!’
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I won’t be at Mass this week….
