Today's Joke » Little Johnny

Todays Joke: Little Johnny The Capitalist

steve — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 10:52:34 +0000

Little Johnny understands the program and will do well as a capitalist.

HOW TO SELL TOOTHBRUSHES

The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.

Little Sally led off: “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.”

“Very good,” said the teacher.

Little Jenny was next:

“I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.”

“Very good, Jenny,” said the teacher..

Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn.

The teacher held her breath …

Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467,” he said.

“$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?”

“Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny.

“Toothbrushes!” echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough tooth brushes to make that much money?”

“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny, “I set up a Dip & Chip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.”

They all said the same thing, “Hey, this tastes like dog shit!”

Then I would say,”It is dog shit. Wanna buy a toothbrush?”

“I used the governmental approach of giving you something shitty for free, and then making you pay to get the shitty taste out of your mouth.”

Todays Joke: Little Johnny’s Sister Sally

steve — Thu, 13 May 2010 19:13:33 +0000

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, “Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!”

Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, “It reminded me of a peanut.”

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally’s Mom asked, “Really small, was it?”

Sally replied,

“No… Salty.”

The Absolute Best Little Johnnie Joke

steve — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 22:54:39 +0000

Little Johnnie’s neighbor had a baby.

Unfortunately, the baby was born without ears.

When mother and new baby came home from the hospital, Johnnie’s family was invited over to see the baby. Before they left their house, Little Johnnie’s dad had a talk with him and explained that the baby had no ears.

His dad also told him that if he so much mentioned anything about the baby’s missing ears or even said the word ears, he would get the smacking of his life when they came back home.

Little Johnnie told his dad he understood completely.

When Johnnie looked in the crib he said,

‘What a beautiful baby.’

The mother said, ‘Why, thank you, Johnnie.

Johnnie said, ‘He has beautiful little feet and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes. Can he see alright?’

Yes’, the mother replied, ‘we are so thankful; the Doctor said he will have 20/20 vision.’

‘That’s great’, said Little Johnnie, ‘coz he’d be fucked if he needed glasses’.

Today’s Joke: Dust to Dust

steve — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 20:16:33 +0000

After church little Johnny told his parents he needed to speak
to the pastor. When he spoke with the pastor he said,
“I heard you say today that we came from dust and when we die
we go back to dust.”

The pastor said, “Yes I did and I am glad that you were
listening. Why do you ask?” Little Johnny said, “Well, you
better come back to my house and look under my bed because
either someone is coming or going!”

Little Johnny Strikes Again

steve — Mon, 12 Mar 2007 12:44:51 +0000

During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good
manners, asked her students the following question:

“Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young
lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?”

Michael said, “Just a minute I have to go pee.”

The teacher responded by saying, “That would be rude and impolite.
What about you, Peter, how would you say it?”

Peter said, “I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I’ll be right back.”

“That’s better, but it’s still not very nice to say the word
bathroom at the dinner table.”

“And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show Us
your good manners?”

I would say: “Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have
to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you’ll get
to meet after dinner.”

The teacher fainted.