Today’s Joke Means When We Find A Funny Joke, We Post It Today

HAVING MOM OVER
FOR DINNER

Brian
invited his mother over for dinner. During the
course of the meal, Brian’s mother couldn’t help
but notice how beautiful Brian’s roommate,
Jennifer was. Brian’s Mom had long been
suspicious of the platonic relationship between
Brian and Jennifer, and this had only made her
more curious.

Over the course of the
evening, while watching the two interact, she
started to wonder if there was more between
Brian and Jennifer than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, Brian
volunteered, ‘I know what you must be thinking,
but I assure you Jennifer and I are just
roommates.’

About a week later, Jennifer
came to Brian saying, ‘Ever since your mother came
to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful
silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it,
do you?’

Brian said, ‘Well, I doubt
it, but I’ll send her an e-mail just to be sure.
So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mom,

I’m not saying that you ‘did’ take the
gravy ladle from the house, I’m not saying that
you ‘did not’ take the gravy ladle. But the fact
remains that one has been missing ever since you
were here for dinner.

Love,
Brian

Several
days later, Brian received an email back from
his mother that read:

Dear Son,

I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with
Jennifer, I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep
with Jennifer. But the fact remains that if
Jennifer is sleeping in her own bed, she would
have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love,
Mom

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, “Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today at the playground!”

Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, “It reminded me of a peanut.”

Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally’s Mom asked, “Really small, was it?”

Sally replied,

“No… Salty.”

A retired man went into the JobCenter in Downtown Baltimore, and saw a card advertising for a Gynecologist’s Assistant. Interested, he went in and asked the clerk for details.

The clerk pulled up the file and read; “The job entails getting the ladies ready for the gynecologist. You have to help the women out of their underwear, lay them down and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so they’re ready for the gynecologist’s examination.”

“The annual salary is $65,000, and you’ll have to go to Cincinnati, OH, that’s about 550 miles from here.”

“Good grief, is that where the job is?”

“No sir — that’s where the end of the line is right now.”