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		<title>Todays Joke: The Pharmacist</title>
		<link>http://todaysjoke.net/2009/11/todays-joke-the-pharmacist/</link>
		<comments>http://todaysjoke.net/2009/11/todays-joke-the-pharmacist/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 25 Nov 2009 15:24:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>steve</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.</p>
<p>The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he&#8217;d like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.</p>
<p>That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. &#8220;Oh, I&#8217;m so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!&#8221;</p>
<p>The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl&#8217;s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, &#8220;I had no idea you were this religious.&#8221;</p>
<p>The boy turns, and whispers back, &#8220;I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!&#8221;</p>
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		<title>Ranch Hand</title>
		<link>http://todaysjoke.net/2009/08/ranch-hand/</link>
		<comments>http://todaysjoke.net/2009/08/ranch-hand/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 10 Aug 2009 14:06:11 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>steve</dc:creator>
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		<description><![CDATA[A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. 
Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. </p>
<p>Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk&#8230; </p>
<p>He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. </p>
<p>For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well. </p>
<p>Then one day, the rancher&#8217;s widow said to the hired hand, &#8216;You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels&#8217;. </p>
<p>The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night. One o&#8217;clock came, however, and he didn&#8217;t return. Two o&#8217;clock and no hired hand. Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher&#8217;s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him. </p>
<p>She quietly called him over to her. &#8216;Unbutton my blouse and take it off,&#8217; she said.  Trembling, he did as she directed. </p>
<p>&#8216;Now take off my boots.&#8217; He did as she asked, ever so slowly. </p>
<p>&#8216;Now take off my socks.&#8217; He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boot s. </p>
<p>&#8216;Now take off my skirt.&#8217; He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light. </p>
<p>&#8216;Now take off my bra.&#8217; Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor. </p>
<p>Then she looked at him and said, </p>
<p>&#8216;If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you&#8217;re fired.&#8217; </p>
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		<title>Today&#8217;s Joke: Retired People Making Life Interesting.</title>
		<link>http://todaysjoke.net/2009/06/todays-joke-retired-people-making-life-interesting/</link>
		<comments>http://todaysjoke.net/2009/06/todays-joke-retired-people-making-life-interesting/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 30 Jun 2009 22:41:58 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>steve</dc:creator>
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Working                                people frequently ask retired people what they do                [...]]]></description>
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<p><strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 12pt; color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';">Working                                people frequently ask retired people what they do                                to make their days                                interesting.</span></span></strong></div>
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</span></span><strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';">Well,                                for example, the other day my wife and I went into                                town and went into a shop.<br />
We were only in                                there for about 5 minutes.</span></span></strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"> <strong><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span></strong></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';">When                                we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking                                ticket. </span></span></strong><strong><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 10pt; color: black; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"><br />
</span></span><strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';">We                                went up to him and said, &#8216;Come on man, how about                                giving a senior citizen a break?&#8217; </span></span></strong></div>
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<img src="http://mail.google.com/mail/?ui=2&amp;ik=0435116372&amp;view=att&amp;th=12232f345991c78a&amp;attid=0.1&amp;disp=emb&amp;zw" alt="" width="389" height="250" /> </span></span></div>
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<p><strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 12pt; color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';">He ignored                                us and continued writing the ticket.  I                                called him a Nazi turd.  He glared at me and                                started writing another ticket for having                                worn  tires.</span></span></strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"><br />
</span></span><strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black;"><span style="font-weight: bold; color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';">So                                my wife called him a shit-head. He finished the                                second ticket and put it on the windshield                                with the first. Then he started writing a                                third ticket. This went on for about 20                                minutes. The more we abused him, the more                                tickets he wrote.</span></span></strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black;"><span style="color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"> <strong><span style="font-weight: bold;">Personally, we                                didn&#8217;t care. We came into town by bus and the car                                had an Obama                                sticker. </span></strong></span></span><strong><span style="font-family: Arial; color: black; font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 10pt; color: black; font-family: Arial;"> </span></span></strong></div>
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<p><strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black; font-size: small;"><span style="font-weight: bold; font-size: 12pt; color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';">We                                try to have a little fun each day now that                                we&#8217;re retired. It&#8217;s important at our                                age.</span></span></strong><span style="font-family: Book Antiqua; color: black; font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: 13.5pt; color: black; font-family: 'Book Antiqua';"> </span></span></div>
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