A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church.He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There’s a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.
He hears a priest come in:”Father, forgive me for it’s been a very long time since I’ve been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be”.
The priest replies,
“Get out, you idiot. You’re on my side”.
While shopping in a food store, two nuns happened to pass by the beer
cooler. One nun said to the other, “Wouldn’t a nice cool beer or two
taste wonderful on a hot summer evening?”
The second nun answered “Indeed it would Sister, but I wouldn’t feel
comfortable buying beer as I am certain that it would cause a scene at
the check-out counter.”
“I can handle that without a problem” she replied as she picked up a
six-pack and headed for the check-out.
The cashier had a surprised look on his face when the two nuns arrived
with a six-pack of beer.
“We use beer for washing our hair” the nun said, “A shampoo, of sorts, if
you will.” Without blinking an eye, the cashier reached under the counter, pulled
out a package of pretzel sticks and placed them in the bag with the beer.
He then looked the nun straight in the eye, smiled and said, “The curlers
are on the house.”