A Selection of Irreverent Humor

I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
Apparently a turban, beard and a backpack wasn’t what they had in mind.

After a night of drink, drugs and wild sex, Dave woke up to find himself next to a really ugly woman. That’s when he realized he had
made it home safely.

“ITS A BOY” I shouted, “A BOY, I DON’T BELIEVE IT, ITS A BOY”. And with tears streaming down my face I swore I’d never visit
another Thai Brothel!

A boy asks his granny,
“Have you seen my pills, they were labeled LSD?”
Granny replies, “F**k the pills, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen?”

Wife gets naked and asks hubby,
“What turns you on more, my pretty face or my sexy body?”
Hubby looks her up and down and replies,
“Your sense of humor!”

The wife’s back on the warpath again. She was up for making a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

The other night, my wife asked me how many women I’d slept with.
I told her, “Only you. All the others kept me awake all night!”

My missus packed my bags, and as I walked out the front door, she screamed,
“I wish you a slow and painful death, you bastard!”
“Oh,” I replied, “so now you want me to stay!”

I’ve just installed strobe lights in the bedroom. It makes the wife look like she’s moving during sex.

Adam and Eve

Subject:  Adam and Eve

A man who went to Church with his wife always fell asleep during the sermon.  The wife decided to do something about this, and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke him with it every time he would doze off.

As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out “and who created all there is in 6 days and rested on the 7th?” she poked her husband who came flying out of the pew and screamed, “Good God all mighty.”  The minister said, “That’s right, that’s right” and went on with his sermon.

The man sat back down, muttering under his breath, and later began to doze off again when the minister got to, “…and who died on the cross to save us from our sins?” the wife hit him again, and he jumped up and shouted, “Jesus Christ.”  The Minister said, “That’s right, that’s right” and went on with his sermon.

The man sat back down and began to watch his wife and when the minister got to, “…and what did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their second child?” the wife started to poke the husband, but he jumped up and said, “If you stick that damn thing in me again, I’ll break it off.”

Courtesy of

Steve Pohlit, Expert Business Consulting

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