“Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon, approximately 30 feet above ground elevation of 2,346 feet above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.

She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.

“I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”

“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct. But I have no idea what to do with your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”

The man smiled and responded, “You must be an Obama-Democrat.”

“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”

“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are — or where you are going. You’ve risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault.”

P R I C E L E S S !

Vote To Prove You're Not An Idiot

Thank you for helping my neighbors with their mortgage payments.
You know, the ones down the street who in the good times refinanced
their house several times and bought SUVs, ATVs, RVs, a pool, a big
screen TV, two Wave Runners, and a Harley.

But I was wondering, since I am paying my mortgage and
theirs, could you arrange for me to borrow the Harley now and then?

D Davis – Waretown NJ

P.S. They also need help with their credit cards, when do you want me
to start making those payments?

P.P.S. I almost forgot – they didn’t file their income tax return this
year. Should I go ahead and file for them or will you be appointing them to
cabinet posts?